The Dallas Mavericks are 10-0. The L.A. Lakers are 3-7. Prediction: Lakers win championship.

Ever notice how music nowadays all sounds like a Chevrolet commercial? And most of it is, eventually. People now ask for music by related commercial: Mitsubishi, Nike, Gap. Copies of Andrea Bocelli's breakout album came with a sticker: Hear the music from the commercial!

Toby Keith is a fucking asshole. And now Willie's been roped into a single with him. I have to believe that this, like the Gap commercial, is due to tax trouble.

Santana did a track with Chad Kroeger. Chad Kroeger is a fucking asshole.

The number of people I know who have either gotten divorced or are in the middle of a separation now stands at five. The more I look at relationships, the more I think people are getting together to make each other miserable. And I mean make each other miserable, not simply to alleviate the misery of their lives, or because they're bored and end up fucking someone over. I mean people are getting together out of a desire to inflict misery onto another person. No, that can't be true. Jesus I need a good laugh right now.

God Answers Prayers of Paralyzed Boy. "No," God Says.

That did it.

The Mormons have stopped coming to my house. I miss them. I hope they forget that I'm going to hell and come back and talk to me.

The extended version of Lord of the Rings sure is a long movie. But it still rocks Star Wars and kills Harry Potter in his sleep. It's everything a movie should be. The Two Towers will surpass it and win the Oscar for Best Picture. Ian McKellan will win for best supporting actor. Liv Tyler will never act again.

Nickelback are Satan, which makes Theory of a Deadman the spawn of Satan. Even that pornstar stache can't save them.

COPE and Larry Campbell swept the Vancouver elections. Pundits are calling it a backlash against the Liberals and their cuts, and against the austerity of the NPA. They'll have three years which is a fart in the life of a city, and when they can't produce in that time they'll be replaced by another group who also can't proeduce. People want stuff but don't want to pay for it; one group will lower taxes but cut programs, and when the people freak they'll bring in another group that'll raise taxes, and when people freak...

"It wasn't an isolated incident." - Howard the Duck