How can you not miss Bloom County when faced with a steady diet of Overboard, Cathy, and Sally Forth? Here's an excerpt from an Onion interview with Berkeley Breathed. God, how I miss him so.

O: Do you miss that daily public forum where you could address political and social topics that bothered you?

BB: Oh, to hell with that, I miss the money. If I could have drawn a cat yelling for lasagna every day for 15 years and had them pay me $30 million to do so, I would have. But for a guy with a rather small mouth, I just have too big a mouth. I can't help myself. The truth: The blander you are, the richer you'll be. I tried, truly I did.

O: How do you react when you read the news these days?

BB: I'm like you. Shocked, hurt, betrayed. How's Nicole going to go it alone without Tom? Take off the makeup, and poof, she disappears like the Cheshire Cat. And don't talk to me about Tom being gay. Don't. Oh, if only I were still cartooning.

O: Are there still political issues that incense you?

BB: Nope. Bill Clinton just took all the fun out of this stuff. Even Trudeau, brilliant as he is, couldn't do anything much with the last eight years, really. It's like doing a parody of The National Enquirer. Can't be done. We're over-saturated with commentary and with absurdity, and we're numb because of it. Nothing shocks, so what's the fun? And irony, oh, the goddamned irony, that courses through the popular culture like a cancer. If nothing is serious anymore, then there's nothing to satirize. Look at George W. Bush. He knows the game. He knows he's a maroon, as Daffy Duck would say, and refuses to take himself seriously. He cut off our satirist balls. We're like a gaggle of eunuchs running around the palace, wishing we could hump the princess. The game's changed forever.

The full interview can be found here.

Final Exam

In school, in a class with a computer and internet access. Someone charged the Canadian government about 350,000 dollars to troll websites about gun control...for one year. Basically I could do that right now.At least no one's wasting my hard-earned tax dollars.

How excellent does this job sound?

Well the holidays are finally over, but I wouldn't know it since I have yet to start work. Feeling more and more like a mercenary...And there just aren't very many options out there that I would honestly consider. I tried to make a list of things I want in a job, but the list was so broad as to be useless; it was littered with terms like creative and satisfying. All I really want is something to believe in, and now that religion's abandoned me...or I've abandoned it...

The way of love is not a subtle argument.
The door there is devastation.
Birds make great sky-circles of their freedom.
How do they learn it?
They fall, and falling,
They're given wings. - Rumi

Is having too many options worse than having no options at all? Probably not. But it's certainly more annoying.

Learn your Ninja Clan at the
Ninja Burger website.